Here’s to you

Hey y’all. I wanna give a shoutout to all the people who have told me all the things I COULD NOT do now that I am diabetic.

Hope y’all enjoy!

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Here’s to you!

I’m talking about the ones who said there is so much you won’t be able to do now that you are diabetic.

The ones that told me I couldn’t go back to school and maintain good blood sugars.

The ones that told me I wouldn’t be able to go on as many adventures as I would like to.

The ones that said I would never be myself again.

Here’s to you.

Because if y’all hadn’t said those things, I never would have pushed myself to do those things.

Because of y’all I went back to school. And now I am almost finished. I began my externship today! It’s one of my last major step towards finishing up.

Because of y’all I traveled all the way from North Carolina to Arizona, which allowed me to see and do so many new things!

Because of y’all I have started to see the old me more and more everyday. But at the same time, the new me is taking over.

The new me has pushed myself more than I ever did before I was diagnosed. I push myself so much harder now because I want to prove to myself and all of you that diabetes is my diagnosis not my destiny.

So shoutout to all those nah sayers and Debbie downers.

Keep telling me I can’t, or I won’t. And I will gladly keep proving y’all wrong!

That’s all for now!

Xoxo,

Casie

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I hear you

Hey y’all. I am always apologizing for not writing in my blog enough. I just have been wrapped up in life lately. However, I did promise myself that I would try and write a blog post each week starting this week.

So with that being said I wanna talk about something that bothers me. Maybe it’s because I am still a “newbie” but it definitely gets under my skin. I wanna talk about the whispers, the dirty looks, and the snide comments.

I hope y’all enjoy!

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I hear your whispers.

I hear your snide comments.

I see your dirty looks.

I hear and see it all.

I am a tough person but after being diagnosed I have cried more times than I can honestly count. This is a tough thing to come to terms with.

What makes it even tougher???

The comments, the looks, and the whispers.

I have had more dirty looks and snide comments than I would care to admit to noticing. And it hurts!!! It hurts me so much that if I am in public I will go to my car and cry by myself.

I pretend to not care what you say about me behind my back.

I pretend to not hear you when you are whispering.

I pretend to not notice the quick “up-and-down” glance you give me when you see my pump.

BUT I DO!!!

I hear you say “she must be diabetic because she is fat.”

Or if “she would just eat properly, she wouldn’t be that way.”

My favorite comment heard most recently is “she makes me feel uncomfortable with that weird thing on her side.”

And I get it!!! You guys don’t understand. And that’s alright. But I am human and I do have feelings. If you took a second to ask me questions instead of taking that second to judge me maybe things would be different. But you don’t.

Let’s all stop putting others down just because they are different than you.

Honestly, just be kind to one another.

That’s all for now.

Xoxo,

Casie

Body image

Hey y’all! I know it’s been awhile since I have blogged. I think it’s just because I have been in a “slump/weird mood” for the past month. But I wanted to talk about one very important topic and that is body image!

I hope y’all enjoy!

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I will be the first to admit that I have ALWAYS felt pressured to be skinny and beautiful like the women you see in magazines. I would flip through them and I would tell myself in my head over and over again “wow why aren’t you as tiny and beautiful as them?” Or “Come on Casie, you look so fat.”

I have always been a little over weight. Not much since I’m 5’7 and I’m suppose to weigh roughly 165-170. So I have always fallen in the weight range or just slightly above it. My biggest issue was that I never liked what I saw in the mirror. And that is a hard thing to say. I never wanted to be the girl that was super obsessed with her appearance, yet I had become her without even meaning to.

When I started to lose weight before I was diagnosed, I felt like I FINALLY had reached the skinny and beautiful status all these other women had. Especially the version I seemed to never be. And for once I wasn’t self conscious to wear a bathing suit, to wear a short dress, to wear a tank top, or to be seen in public in those outfits! I let this unhealthy skinny image go to my head. And I would justify the reasoning for being so unhealthy with “well atleast I’m finally skinny and beautiful.” I let myself believe that I looked amazing even though in my heart I knew I wasn’t. But no matter what I told myself or anyone else said I wasn’t going to change the way I looked.

Fast forward to getting diagnosed and starting to finally put insulin back into my body and my body was thankful for it! I was thankful for it. But while being thankful and trying to maintain that skinny image I had in my head, I somehow lost it all. I started gaining weight again because the insulin was finally going into my body and helping me! I stayed skinny for the first 3 months after I was diagnosed. Then BAM…. it hit me like a freight train. I gained back all the weight.

I know with exercise I could make it go away. And I do try to exercise. But I always realize that I can’t stand to see myself in the mirror, so then I ask why would anyone else want to see me? I avoid places with a lot of people because I feel like I’m already being judged for my pump why would I want them to judge me for my weight too?

Even after all this…. it honestly took me awhile to decide I am tired of it. It took me trying on tons of outfits last night and me criticizing myself to the point that I cried for 45 minutes alone in my room with the music on so my husband couldn’t hear me to realize I’m tired of letting these images of women that are airbrushed to perfection control how I see myself!

With that being said, I woke up this morning and told myself 5 things that I love about myself! I told myself…

  1. I love that I’m caring.
  2. I love that I try my hardest to make other happy.
  3. I love my smile.
  4. I love my determination.
  5. But most of all I LOVE MYSELF!

Y’all may think I am always confident and happy because that’s what y’all see in pictures, but when you really look at me you’d see I am struggling with something too. But I AM CHOOSING TO CHANGE IT!

So here’s the outfit I wore last night that I ended up crying over! But now that I look at it, I see a healthy girl who is just happy to be alive!

But here’s a picture of me that I would normally never share! (1. Because of my pump. And 2. Because of my stomach)

If i have learned anything from being on this earth for 24 years it’s to LOVE AND BE KIND TO YOURSELF

That’s all for now!

Xoxo,

Casie💗

Gym Time

Hey y’all. So this wasn’t going to be my first blog post of the year but hey it happens. So I am dropping by to tell y’all all about my first gym session and how my blood sugar was during my time there!

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So let me start off by saying I am a girl who HATES the gym. Why yes hate is a strong word but I absolutely LOATHE the gym. We have never gotten along. I never know what to do. I can’t stand how many people are there. To add to it now that I am diabetic I don’t want people to stare at me because of my pump and cord. Honestly, I would rather be at home cuddled up on the couch watching Netflix. Lol.

With that being said me and my husband agreed to start going to the gym at the beginning of the year even if I was uncomfortable! (He honestly is my biggest supporter, my go to person for a pep talk, and my biggest cheerleader!) Well that was put off because we got a huge snow storm here in good ol’ North Carolina! Then I went to Virginia for about a week. So today was the first day we went to the gym! Yes, it was crowded and awful smelling. Lol. But I sucked it up and worked out anyways.

I checked my sugar when I first got there and sadly it was 241!!! I freaked slightly. But then I remembered that I could fix it.

I went and rode the bike for 10 minutes then did the elliptical for 10 minutes. (I honestly was not trying to over do it because it’s my first time in a gym in a long time.) I went to check my sugar. Just to make sure I was coming down and what do you know… It was 143!

I then decided I would just stretch, walk a few laps on the track and maybe if I had time would do the stair climber! I completed all of these things and my husband was ready to go. So we decided to stop and get a smoothie before we left! I had a chocolate sugar free carb cutter smoothie and honestly it wasn’t that bad! I checked my sugar before we drank them and was at 97!!

Also after having my chocolate sugar free carb cutting smoothie my blood sugar was…

For a girl that hates the gym, I think we just became great friends! It’s nice to see that I can control my sugars somewhat with just a little bit of exercise!

That’s all for now!

Xoxo,

Casie💗

Side note – Clearly I don’t care anymore if people stare at my pump! I am bettering myself!

Offline

Hey y’all! I know I have been MIA for awhile now. I was busy getting ready for our trip to Texas and Arizona! Now that we are here I am busy spending time with my husbands family! So I will get back to writing when we return to NC! Thank you all for being so understanding! Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you all!

That’s all for now!

Xoxo,

Casie💗

P.S. Here is some cute pictures of me and my husband and his family!

Support

Hey y’all! Today on my blog post i decided to talk all about my wonderful support system. There are so many of you but there are a few that have gone above and beyond to make sure I am feeling the good vibes since being diagnosed! I hope y’all enjoy learning all about them!

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  1. My Parents – I don’t even know where to begin when it comes to these two! I called them both the day I was admitted to the hospital and they dropped everything and made the 3 hour trip to spend 4 days with me! My dad has been a big help especially when it comes to new places for injections! He has done one in my stomach and in the back of my arm! My mom has gone above and beyond to help me make sure I am keeping up with everything and learning all I can! She has attended every doctors appointment with me to make sure we are both understanding this new life with Type One! I wouldn’t be able to do all this without either of you! So thank you so much for all that y’all do! I love y’all very much!
  2. Daniel – Where do I begin with you babe? I was sure that this diagnosis was going to kill our marriage. Yet you have been my biggest supporter. You help me change my site, gave me shots when I was shaking too much, and even wake up every 2 hours to check my sugar for me. You spent 4 days in the hospital by my side and then took leave early so you could make sure I was okay! I am so grateful each and every day that you are in my life! I love you to the bottom of the deep blue sea babe!
  3. My father-in-law – you came to visit right after i was diagnosed and were so patient and kind when we went to D.C. I know I was a mess at some points but you and your wonderful son were there to make it better with kind words! I am so thankful you are in my life! I love you!
  4. My Aunt Tammy and Aunt Margaret- Aunt Tammy, when you found out I was diabetic you came to see me and helped calm my nerves when the nurses in the hospital couldn’t! You and Aunt Margaret did so much research for me and helped me with so much! I don’t know what I would have done with out y’all! I love you both so much!
  5. Melissa – you are the absolute best! You make sure i am taking care of myself. You even go above and beyond when I’m staying with you to make sure I count all my carbs and am eating right! Also, thank you for always allowing me to call you crying when ever I have had a bad day! I can’t wait for another cousins night! I love you so much it hurts!
  6. Claire – you have been a constant support system throughout this whole process. Even though you are terrified of hospitals and needles you still came to see me! You may turn white as a ghost when you see me having to do anything remotely close to a needle but you are still there to support me. Even from a far! I love you so much and I’m so blessed to have you as a cousin!
  7. Caroline – You have also been a very big supporter throughout this crazy mess! You always cheer me up by sending me tons of cards in the mail! You even came to the hospital to see me. Lol. (You handles it better than Claire. Lol) I am very thankful for you and your support! I love you so much!
  8. Bri – I met Bri through our husbands since they were taking a course together! We immediately became friends! Sadly I was traveling back and forth to Va so much for doctors appointments that we didn’t get to hangout much before she left! But I am still thankful for her! I don’t know anyone else that would let me do an infusion set on them just so they can understand what it feels like! You are the best girl!

That’s all for now!

Xoxo,

Casie 😍

Lola💗💗

Hey y’all. I am forever forgetting that I started this blog. Lol. Maybe it’s because my life is busy or maybe it is just because I am unsure of what y’all want to hear. Anyways, this time I’m going to tell y’all all about my new best friend, my pump! So I hope y’all enjoy!

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It has been 4 months since I was diagnosed with type one diabetes. For the first 3 months i was giving myself injections. Then after speaking with my doctor we decided that a pump would be best for me. I researched everything I could about all the different pumps. I even asked people that i knew what they thought of their pumps. I did as much as i could to make sure i was making the right decision. After speaking with my doctor and doing a ton of research we agreed that the Medtronic 670g would be best for me. So everyone meet Lola my new best friend!💙💙

A side note, I do come of as being very nervous in my videos. This is only the 4th infusion site I have done. And people may say they are proud of me but I still struggle with the fear of needles. I know y’all are saying “how is that possible? You stab yourself everyday!” Yes I do. But I wouldn’t if I had a choice! However, in all reality this is what is keeping me alive. And you will do whatever you have to do to stay alive!

Anyways, that’s all for now!

Xoxo,

Casie and Lola